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Download Cab Drivers by Jerry Seinfeld

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Jerry Seinfeld Cab Drivers lyrics

So what's with the cab drivers and the B.O. ?

How long are these shifts ?

Do they ever stop or do they just get in the cab and just drive 'till they're dead ? That's what it's starting to smell like in some of these cars. You're in the back there and you're going "oh man !" And then they give you that... they have that cherry stuff... the cherry "pop-it" on the dash, you know, so you get the cherry B.O., which is supposed to be some sort of improvement I guess, I don't know, I can't imagine even... fruit going that long without showering.

And the way they're driving, they're so insane, you could see they're upset ! I don't know what it's like to drive a cab, it must be very difficult because they're very upset, these people. And some times you just wanna lean over that seat and go "what is happening in your life, in your mind, that is making you drive like this ?! Take it easy !"

To me the really funny thing about New York cabs is that you never get that much scared... when you're in the cab. I don't know why, something about being in Manhattan. No matter how dangerous it seems... it's all quite amusing in the back of that cab, isn't it ? He's flying around the road, he's... doing 90 up a one-way, and you're going... (amused) "I've never tried that in my car !". It's all a huge joke ! It's your life. And somehow it's all happening on TV there, it's all not quite real.

The dumbest thing you can think in the back of a taxi cab is "well I'm sure the man knows what he's doing." Have you ever thought that ? "He is driving fast. And quite recklessly. On bald tires. But after all he's a professional. I guess he does this all the time. He's got a license, I can see it right there".

I don't even know what it takes to get a cab driver's license. I think all you need is a face. This seems to be their big qualification. "That's the law now, no blank heads are allowed to drive cabs". It also helps to have a name with like, 8 consonants in a row.

What is that "o" with the line through it ? What letter is that ? I don't remember that letter in school. You need a chart of the elements if you wanna report the guy. "Yes officer, his name was Ammal, and then the symbol for boron... I believe. I had the periodic chart with me at the time, I'm quite certain it was not manganese".